A Disney Cruise, Reviewed by Someone Who Doesn't Like Cruises
We don't like cruises. We booked four nights on the Disney Wish over the holidays anyway, because we had a five-year-old and a ninety-year-old and one week to give both of them a good time, and nothing else could do that. It worked. The shows are genuinely excellent and better than most theatre we've paid full price for on land. Both Bahamian islands are lovely. And everyone from the kindergartener to the great-grandmother was entertained without any of us having to organise it, which on a multigenerational trip is the whole ballgame. Would we choose it over a week at a Bahamas hotel? No. But that's not the trip this replaces, and we'll explain what is. We paid for the cruise ourselves and nothing here is sponsored.
The case against cruising is easy to make and we've made it plenty of times. You're on a floating hotel with a schedule you don't control, in a room with minimal natural light, eating buffet food, docking somewhere for six hours alongside four thousand other people who all want the same photograph.
We'd rather be at a hotel on an island. We usually are. But we still went, and it was the right call for the specific trip we were taking.
The problem a cruise solves
We were travelling with three generations. A five-year-old who needs a nap and a pool. A ninety-year-old who needs flat ground, a lift, and somewhere to sit. And several adults in between who wanted a drink and a conversation that wasn't about either of them.
Try planning that on land. Every restaurant is a negotiation. Every excursion excludes somebody. Somebody is always waiting for somebody else, and the person doing the organising, usually one specific person, has no holiday at all.
A ship removes almost all of it. Everything is on one flat, air-conditioned, step-free property. The kids' club takes the five-year-old at nine in the morning and would happily keep her until midnight. Grandma has a deck chair, a lift to her cabin, and a show every evening. Nobody drives. Nobody navigates. Nobody has to make a plan. That's what you're buying, and if that's your situation it's worth a great deal.
The shows are the best thing on the ship
This surprised us and it shouldn't have. The Wish runs three main stage productions: The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and Disney Seas the Adventure. Full Broadway-scale musicals in a proper theatre, live orchestration, real sets, and cast members who can genuinely sing. We've paid two hundred dollars a seat in New York for less.
Our five-year-old sat still through the entire Little Mermaid, which she has never done anywhere.
Pirate Night is the other set piece, and Disney is the only line at sea that does fireworks. Deck party, dancing, then fireworks off the back of a moving ship in the dark. It's absurd and it's wonderful.
If you take one thing from this review: go to the shows. Every night. People skip them for dinner and it's the wrong call. We also found the bingo to be particularly enjoyable.
The dining on the Wish is different from other ships
Worth knowing before you book, because the Wish does rotational dining differently from the rest of the fleet.
You move restaurants each night and your serving team moves with you, which is standard. What isn't standard is that two of the three restaurants are essentially shows. Worlds of Marvel is an interactive Avengers mission that plays out across your courses. Arendelle is a Frozen dinner theatre with the characters performing between them. The third, 1923, is a conventional and rather beautiful room named for the year Disney was founded.
For a table with a five-year-old at it, dinner being entertainment rather than a thing to endure is a bigger deal than it sounds. It also means the two-hour dinner that would normally be the hardest part of the day with a small child became one of the easiest.
By the second evening our servers knew that she wanted her pasta plain and how Grandma wanted her wine, and had brought both before anyone asked.
The honest caveat: the food itself is fine. Good, competent, hotel-banquet fine. It is not why you're here. Palo Steakhouse and Enchanté, the adults-only restaurants, cost extra and are considerably better, and Enchanté in particular is a real restaurant. Book both on day one, because they go.
The kids' clubs are why the adults have a holiday
The Oceaneer Club and Lab take three to twelve-year-olds and they are genuinely excellent, staffed properly, open from morning until late, and included. Ours asked to go back. That's not a sentence we write often.
Edge for the eleven to fourteens and Vibe for the teenagers do the same job for older kids, and both have spaces the adults can't enter, which is exactly what a fourteen-year-old wants.
This is the mechanism that makes the whole thing work. Without it you have three generations in a confined space for four days.
The Wish also has the AquaMouse, a water ride that loops around the top deck with a Mickey short playing as you go. Our five-year-old did it eleven times.
The adult spaces are better than you'd expect
Quiet Cove is the adults-only pool and it's properly enforced. There's a whole adult district that comes alive after nine. Palo and Enchanté are adults only. Disney is unusually good at this. The ship is built so families and adults can be on it at the same time without either group ruining it for the other.
Castaway Cay and Lookout Cay
Both islands are lovely and both are easier than any port call we've done anywhere else.
Castaway Cay is the older one, and the crucial detail is that the ship docks directly. No tenders. You walk off onto the island, which for anyone with mobility limitations changes the day entirely. Grandma got off the ship and onto a beach without a single set of steps. There's a tram if you don't want to walk, a family beach, and Serenity Bay for adults only at the far end.
Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point on Eleuthera is the newer one and it's the better-looking of the two, with Bahamian architecture, work by Bahamian artists, and a cultural centre that isn't just decoration. Quieter than Castaway Cay. The ship docks here as well.
The beaches at both are genuinely pretty. Clear, calm, and the sand is good.
What isn't luxurious, specifically
We'd rather be direct about this than have you arrive disappointed.
Cabins are functional. Well-designed, cleverly laid out, and small, with the split-bathroom arrangement that's genuinely useful with children. The Wish is the newest ship in the fleet so the hardware is the most modern, but these are not beautiful rooms and the finishes are cruise-ship finishes.
The main dining rooms serve good hotel food at volume. It is not a reason to book.
There's no spa or pool that would impress you if you've stayed anywhere serious. The pools are small and busy, because there are a lot of children on this ship and they are all in them.
And it's busy. The Wish holds around four thousand passengers, and at peak times, disembarkation, the buffet at noon, the theatre ten minutes before curtain, you feel every one of them.
None of this made the trip worse. But calibrate. You're buying a solution to a logistics problem and a very good children's programme, not a luxury holiday.
The Very Merrytime part
We sailed over the holidays and the seasonal programming is real rather than a token. A Christmas tree in the Grand Hall, snow falling on the deck at night, characters in holiday outfits, a tree lighting, gingerbread everywhere.
It's aimed squarely at children and it lands. Our five-year-old still talks about the snow, and it is not really snow, and she does not need to know that.
Book these sailings early. They're the most popular of the year.
The cruise, or a week in the Bahamas
Here's the comparison that actually matters, because a four-night Bahamian cruise costs about what a week at a good Bahamas hotel costs, and they are not the same holiday.
We would rather be on land. Harbour Island is three miles long, has no cars, and has pink sand that gets its colour from crushed conch shell. We stayed at Coral Sands with a toddler and it worked completely, which is not something we say often about a hotel with that much style. The whole picture is in our Harbour Island travel guide, and our roundup of the best boutique hotels in the Bahamas covers the rest of the country.
There's a detail worth noticing here. Lookout Cay sits at the southern tip of Eleuthera. Harbour Island is off the northern tip of the same island. Same island, six hours versus a week, and they are completely different experiences of the Bahamas.
But the cruise wins on one thing, and it's the thing that decided our trip. If the holiday is kid-forward, and especially if it's multigenerational, a hotel makes you the entertainment director. Somebody plans the days. Somebody negotiates every meal. Somebody is always waiting.
The ship does all of that for you. For four days, nobody in our family had to organise anything, and everyone from five to ninety was busy and happy. No hotel we've stayed at, anywhere, has managed that.
So: a week at a Bahamas hotel if the adults' holiday matters most, or if you want to actually see the country. The cruise if the children are the point and you'd like a break from being in charge.
For the wider picture on the country, see our Bahamas coverage.
Before you sail
Fly into Orlando the day before. Port Canaveral is about forty-five minutes away and there is no version of this where a same-day flight is a good idea, particularly with a five-year-old or a ninety-year-old.
That night is worth doing properly, and our guide to the best hotels in Orlando covers where.
So is it worth it
If you're travelling with three generations and you want everyone to have a good time without one person project-managing it, yes, and we'd do it again.
If you're two adults looking for a beautiful week in the Bahamas, no. Go to Harbour Island or stay at one of our favorite boutique hotels in the Bahamas. This is not a luxury product and it isn't trying to be.
We still don't like cruises. We liked this one, for a specific reason, in a specific situation. That's the honest version.
FAQ
Is a Disney cruise worth it? For multigenerational family travel, yes. It solves the problem of entertaining very young and very old people at once better than anything on land. As a luxury holiday for two adults, no, and a week at a Bahamas hotel would be better.
What is the best part of the Disney Wish? The stage shows. The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and Disney Seas the Adventure are full Broadway-scale musicals in a proper theatre, included in the fare, and better than most paid theatre on land.
Is the Disney Wish luxurious? No. Cabins are functional, the main dining is good hotel food, and the pools are small and busy. You're paying for the children's programme, the shows, and the fact that nobody has to organise anything.
How is dining different on the Disney Wish? Two of the three rotational restaurants are effectively shows. Worlds of Marvel is an interactive Avengers mission and Arendelle is Frozen dinner theatre. The adults-only options are Palo Steakhouse and Enchanté.
What is a Very Merrytime cruise? Disney's holiday season sailings, running roughly from early November into early January. Seasonal decoration, deck snow, holiday character outfits, and a tree lighting.
Which is better, Castaway Cay or Lookout Cay? Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point is newer, quieter, and better looking, with Bahamian architecture and art. Castaway Cay has more to do and an adults-only beach at Serenity Bay. Both dock directly, so no tendering.
Is a Disney cruise good for grandparents? Unusually good. Everything is step-free and on one property, both islands dock directly rather than tendering, and there are lifts everywhere. It was the easiest trip we've done with a ninety-year-old.
Cruise or stay at a Bahamas hotel? A hotel if the adults' holiday matters most or you want to see the country properly. The cruise if the children are the point and you want a break from organising everything.
Should you fly in the day before? Yes. Port Canaveral is around forty-five minutes from Orlando and a same-day flight leaves no margin, particularly with young children or older relatives.